Writing to work working to write

I returned to work today after two months off.  One of the great things about working in a school is the fact your get many paid breaks from work.  These could quite easily be used writing my 'novel' or preparing notes or visiting places to go in my novel. Quite often though being a mother of two, my days were spent enjoying their company and playing my motherly roles.  It's a tricky job being a working mum and a writer, you seem to be forever juggling between the day job, full-time mum job and the part time author's job.  Sadly the writing unless planned often gets pushed into some small time slot and that's if your still half sane and not falling asleep over the key board.  Just the thought of writing during daylight hours often puts me in panic mode.  What if I turn into an eccentric author who wants to be locked away and forgets about being a mum.  So the thought of writing during day light hours tends to be forgotten.   

What I do know is that these amazing ideas that we get, we are given for a reason and even if it means burning the midnight oil for a few months to avoid  missing my kids growing, its what I need to do.  I have an amazing love for my children and the guilt of being away from them during the day when I am working the day job is outweighed by the need as a mother to supply for their future.  I have found my routine bazar as it is I call it my sleeping pill.  but unlike the ones you get in little jars my sleeping pill is black has a 10 inch screen and defuzzes my brain so by the time I have writen 1000 words or so I am sooooooooo ready to sleep, gone is the wishful thinking that I can wake up at 5am and have two hours to write, maybe as my book draws to a close it may be something I will do.  But for now I have found my self and I feel the happiest I have needed to feel in along time.